Monday, February 11, 2013

Droppin' a Real Bomb - You're Effing Up Your Love Life

Title says it all.

I'm about a month shy of 25 ladies and gentlemen, and I've been doing some life searching, and you know what I discovered?

I was a dumb, dumb, dumb shit in college and most of the ladies today in DC are acting like dumb, dumb, dumb shits in their real life.

Lemme tell you why.

You don't wanna listen? Fuck I don't care, continue to live your dumb naive life.

Why was I a dumb shit? Because I devalued my own self worth in order to find a man, any man - all they needed was lips and arms and a cell phone number to text me in their application, which normally consisted of, "Yo, what up?"


That's all I needed. Application turned in... read... accepted.

I have not seen so many women settle for discontentment in my entire life. I can't believe I settled for discontentment in my own life.


How many times have you gotten pissed off because the guy you're kinda sorta seeing hasn't texted you?
How many times have you lingered at home hoping he'd offer to come over, but later find out on facebook he's hooking up with a biddy?
How many times have you been treated like a dirty old jock-strap, when you know you should be treated like Kate-frickin-Middleton?
How many times have you felt like your time, energy, love and affection wasn't being accepted because of something he does all of the time? 


If a man is into you. He'll let you know. And if you're questioning it... he's not into you.

Sure you can give him like.... 20% leeway depending on if he's shy or jeffrey dahmer1, or whatever, but odds are if he's had pleathoras upon boucoups of opportunities to ask you out or take you up on the offer of scrabble, then it's not happening. I'm sorry - REAL BOMB.

I'm going to be real, I dated this guy in college... using the term dated loosely (kids these days with their evolving opinions of relationships and shit)... and all I can think now after I replay how I was treated, how he "cared" for me.... dude fucking sucked. Good riddance, bad rubbish... but instead of those countless hours pining for him to man up and admit I WAS THE ONE (which I'm not, btw... at least not for him), I should have been writing, blogging, frolicking in the quad with someone who was less of a bear and more of a Duke of Edinburgh (seriously, four for you Kate Middleton... you GO Kate Middleton!).

Or... to be perfectly honest... I should have been using college for what it was actually intended for.... higher education, because my degrees in "Life Sciences" and "Sociology of a Sorority" don't hold up very well in a museum quality frame, let's be real.

I'm not saying everyone needs to have my idea of the perfect relationship.

What I'm saying is that ladies, you need to R-E-S-P-E-C-T yourself, and expect, nay DEMAND, that the men that you let into your lives, RESPECT you back.

I'm not saying trample their dreams just to get your respect... because you need to invest in the respect you deserve by giving out some of your own, in your own way.

But what I'm saying is take that perfect idea of a man.... not the image of him... the idea... his personality, his goals, lifestyle, ambitions, etc... the INSIDE of the man what makes him uniquely special to you, i.e... what makes him uniquely appealing to your inner being and your future life goals, dreams, lifestyle, etc.... and look for it.

Stop settling for the handsome guy who has no urge to go sailing with you if your passion is sailing, because if you can't share your passion with him, then... you can't share your life with him. It doesn't matter if your passion is starting a family or painting the next Mona Lisa... if you can't share it... or he wont/doesn't/can't support it, then he needs to hit. the. road.

You're not going to change him.

Life lesson here folks, you CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE. People have to change themselves. You can't love them into changing... you cannot force them into changing. You cannot force your ideas of perfection onto someone who doesn't want what you want.

Move on.

I'm serious.

It might suck.

He might be the best sex of your life.

He might be the worst.

It doesn't matter, if you're out there looking for someone to share your life with, because let's be real most of us are (I know we all have that 'woo-girl' phase, but you're passed that now; you're a mature person reading this fine piece of literature that is my oh-so-perfect blog), then you need to be absolutely truthful with yourself about your self-worth, your goals, and your passions.

Pony up.

And watch out for the real bomb shrapnel... it goes straight for your soul.

1. I realize that some people might have found my jeffrey dahmer comment offensive... well I find you offensive. 

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