Saturday, March 23, 2019

30 Plants in a Week

I struggled with how to start this blog. It's been a hot minute.

But I need some accountability for my little project. Last year, I turned 30. I called it my "purdy thirdy," and I gave myself the goal of creating an actual skincare regime and getting back in touch with my artistic side specifically in regards to makeup. 

Before 30, my eye-dea of makeup was a Mally Evercolor Shadow stick, some powder foundation, a coat of mascara and bit of blush before I ran out the door. 

And a skincare regimen was... wash my face if it looked dirty. 

Did I mention that mascara was waterproof? 

Oof. I had a lot to learn. 

So I did. I now have a multi-step skincare regimin that has virtually eliminated my years of acne. 

And I've gotten pretty darn good at my makeup if I do say so myself... 

But that's just the outside package on these old bags of bones. And I'm not quite too certain about that blush with that eye look, but that's neither here nor there. 

This year, the 31st year of my life on this planet, I am going to work on my insides.

You see...

I'm what is commonly called a supertaster. 

Which is not as super as it may sound.  

It means that I can taste things that 75% of the population cannot. And it means that some foods taste particularly nasty - specifically the bane of my tongue's existence is plants.

Imagine the bitterest thing you've ever eaten... now multiply that by 10. That's what eating arugula tastes like to me. How people can eat an entire arugula salad is beyond me. I taste it and immediately want to upchuck the last week of food.

On a lesser level that's what most green things taste like to me and in general most fruits by themselves. It's not that I'm being picky. It's that what a lot of people stick on a healthy plate of food to me physically makes me want to spit it back at whoever put it there. 

It means I have a hard time with salads and "healthy" foods. 

Because if I had to eat that. I wouldn't eat. 

So this year, I am on a campaign to get more plant (blech) foods into me by doing it in a way that I can actually stomach it. 

Last year, we got a Vitamix. I wanted to try to make my own smoothies without all the ice cream and sherbert a lot of the other places put in them. And I've gotten pretty damn good at making them not taste like pig vomit. 

I have them multiple times a week, and it's given me a way to trick myself into eating things, I normally wouldn't eat. 

You can ask my mother. She's been trying to get me to eat healthy for years. 

I'm still not eating your disgusting cavendish bananas, but I have discovered a lot of other things that I will consume in a smoothie that I would not think of consuming in any other manner: blackberries, raspberries, spinach, kale, squash, dragonfruit, other kinds of bananas (thanks Miami Fruit!), chia seeds, kefir, jackfruit, apples, strawberries, peaches... 

Yeah, a lot of people look at the things on that list and think I'm crazy for not liking them. But I don't. I sit there and eat them and cringe. 

I once had to eat green beans in college because it was a pot luck with two people... me and my friend, and the other person only made green beans... and it was the longest hour of my life. I'd eat a green bean, gag, shove something else into my mouth, green bean, gag,... you get the picture. 

But I have discovered that with a few minutes tumbling around in a Vitamix, I will willingly consume just about anything if I can add a bit of Elmhurst Cashew Milk in with it too.

Over the past year, I've also learned more about the microbiome and how what I eat affects all the lovely bacteria in my gut. Why? Because the DC Shiba Inu Rescue, of course. 

It was when I realized that my dogs got more plant diversity than I did that I needed to make a change. 

Over the next year, I am going to strive to eat 30 plants every week. 

I've picked that number because that is what research says is the biggest indicator of a healthy gut. Didn't matter if you were a vegan, vegetarian, omnivore, pescatarian, flexitarian, etc... if you ate 30 DIFFERENT plants every week. Your gut microbiome was healthier than those that did not. 

Yep. I'm not going on this 30 plants in a week thing to slim down and lose a couple of dress sizes. I'm doing it because I would like to not get sick when someone just breathes on me. I want to diversify my microbiome to improve my immune system. 

Really, it's very selfish. Improving my health to look slim and pretty doesn't really benefit me. It benefits the people looking at me. And as we've already seen in the picture above. I'm gorgeous (why yes I do have a ridiculously high opinion of myself, thanks for noticing!).

I probably could do 31 plants in a week in honor of my 31st year on planet Earth, but I need to keep my goal number as low as possible, because I've been trying this for two weeks, and I've only gotten up to 17 plants each time. 

I'm going to keep track of it in this handy-dandy spreadsheet that I made for myself. And my goal is to get closer and closer to that 30 plants number every week. 

It's aspirational. I might not make it. Some weeks I sure as hell won't make it. But the closer I can get to that goal number, the healthier my gut will be and the less likely I will be to catch your damn colds. STOP SNEEZING ON ME PEOPLE! I HAVE AN AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER!

And no, I will not be counting the varieties of fillings in my Pop Tarts as plants... as much as I would like to because that would knock off 5 plants right there every week. 

But seriously. More plants into me to make my gut healthy, got it? Unless anyone would like to apply for an FMT... Anyone?

I'll take that as a no.

Actually, just to clarify, that was a no even if someone said yes. 

Peace out yo,

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